It was a hard choice and an easy choice: I have overdone it in my "getting back in the swing of things" and so I must pay attention to my screaming body and go to bed. I will miss the best service of the year.
Accepting my limitations is a new concept for me. Giving myself permission to "not" is uncomfortable, yet I must.
And I am.
Tonight, and any lingering guilt will just have to chalk itself up to my old perfectionist nature. The "playing god" defect in me. I am not God. And I am still recovering from surgery and must, must lesrn to listen to my body's signals and respect them. And stop trying to be superwoman and amazing.
I'm just me and this is as good as I get this go around.